Scenes From My Surrogacies: A Memoir in the Making

It can be a hard line to walk at this stage, wanting to be positive and encouraging about how well the egg retrieval and fertilization will go, but yet not too over-the-top positive because that’s unrealistic. I am mature and educated and well-informed and refuse to let wishful thinking take over and sweep away my grip on reality, because I know that nothing is guaranteed and heartbreak goes hand-in-hand with fertility treatments.

So as a surrogate – the one who has entered into these peoples’ lives with the sole purpose to fix things and make their most closely held dreams come true – I find that it’s also my responsibility to stay grounded in the truth and accept that we can not just believe or pray or wish hard enough for success and make it so. That’s just not how this works. I know this fact, and I live by this fact, but there’s also some suspension of disbelief that happens for the sake of the intended parents. It’s just the polite thing to do.