I can’t even recall over the years how many people have said to me “Oh, you’re a surrogate mother? My neighbor/second cousin twice removed/daughter’s dance teacher’s sister is looking into surrogacy, would you talk to her?”
My best guess is that I got that request maybe 20 times, and of course I always said that yes, I’d be happy to talk with them. The conversations actually materialized probably 15 times over the years and I had the last one with someone about a year ago.
And I was always genuinely happy to help these people, though I was never in a position to actually carry a baby for any of them (the timing was never right). These were strictly “information sessions” I gave them, going over all of the basics of gestational surrogacy, giving them a first-hand look into the process, and helping them decide if surrogacy was in fact a good choice for them.
For all of them, I was the first person they’d ever met or spoken with who actually was a gestational carrier herself, which was something they all seemed to enjoy and find valuable. Because it’s not every day that your path crosses with a surrogate mother, right?
And because I had no stake in the meetings or conversations (because we knew at the outset that I wouldn’t be the one to carry for them), we were able to talk candidly and freely, which I think was very helpful to them.
Which led me to an idea.
If my time and experience was valuable to these people who crossed my path through random luck, there’s a good chance that my experience could also be valuable to many other people.
And given that I’m not going to carry a baby again, and I’m definitely not getting into the business of matching intended parents with surrogate mothers (i.e., I’m not starting a surrogacy agency), I can offer something uniquely valuable to potential intended parents – my objectivity.
And that’s the how the idea of a “Surrogacy Support Doula” was born.
My goal is to provide informative, compassionate, objective and flexible help for a range of people – those just exploring the idea of surrogacy, people who would like some support getting their surrogacy arrangements underway, as well as those who would like someone to coach them through their entire surrogacy experience.
Surrogacy, unless you’ve been through it yourself, is an experience full of unknowns. It’s a very personal and high-stakes time in your life and even when things are going well, it can be reassuring to have an objective confidante who knows the ins and outs of the process.
As a Surrogacy Support Doula, I can provide my expertise and support to people (couples or singles, men or women) looking for insight on what it’s really like to go through the surrogacy process and address all of their unique questions and concerns along the way. Just as every pregnancy and delivery is different, so is every surrogacy – maybe more so because you’ve got more people involved in the pregnancy from the start! Having good information and an objective, reliable source of support is the best way to enjoy a successful surrogacy.
Feeling confused, overwhelmed or anxious about using a gestational surrogate mother does not have to be part of your path to parenthood – there’s a helping hand ready to support you through this.
Want to learn more? I offer three different Surrogacy Support Doula packages – take a look! Or do you know someone who might benefit from a helpful voice of surrogacy experience? Please pass this link along!
Wishing you a successful and rewarding surrogacy!